Laughing

I like a good laugh from time to time, but when someones laugh doesnt sound real it bothers me. There a lady at work whose laugh im not happy with. Im still undecided whether she actually means the laugh or not, either way the sound of the laugh doesnt sound real. She was on the phone the other day to someone and they must of had a story to tell. She was doing her laughing thing all the while I was fuming. Its like when your in a lecture theatre and the person behind you is breathing through there nose and it whistles (which did happen to me and I voiced my concern to the person beside me). That shit drives me crazy.

Im never going to tell this lady a joke ever.

Birds

Quite possibly the worst video ever made, but thats what makes it so good.



Im so computer savvy.

Warning labels are there for a reason

The warnings for the local prostitutes to follow whilst doing business. Pretty self explanatory. Click on the image to enlarge it.

When i went up the street to take the picture i looked down in the gutter and noticed a whole bunch of unused needles lying there, still in there packets.

Sexpo and the Brothers Malone

Yesterday Fraser and I went to the Sexpo at the Melbourne Exhibition Centre. It was quite pricey at $25 for a day pass but i think we got our moneys worth. When we entered we were greeted by a couple of lovely ladies wearing skimpy police and nurse uniforms, handing us the program and a couple of flyer's. The exhibition itself was designed to sell dildos and that's it, with a couple of other stalls selling stuff like soaps and t shirts etc, one guy even trying his luck at selling floor tiles. There was a amusement ride called "The Gerbil" that was a modified carnival ghost train, the worst $4 ive ever spent. They had some mannequin peeing on another and some dude standing behind a wall, ready to jump out and scare you when you went past. It was shit. Whilst lining up for the gerbil i spotted one of those carnival games where you put the balls down the mouth of the terrifying rotating heads, only this time they werent exactly heads. It was the Brothers Malone (sort of, maybe a sister Malone), Fraser and Mikes famous guess who creations. Here they are in there full glory.

Below is Mikes drawing of the Brothers Malone.

Flies

Everytime i walk home from work i get attacked by flies. They follow me home as soon as i step outside. At first i thought that it was my black shirt that was drawing them in, but i also wear a white shirt and they still attack. It always looks like they attack me more than they attack any one else. However the odd thing about it is they always land on my left shoulder. Whats wrong with my right shoulder, its just as good if not better. Why cant it be a pack of dogs or something that follow me, that would be cool.

Doesnt need a title.

Ray

Here he is, the infamous Ray Gun, causing havoc where ever he roams. Hes an asshole but hes alright.

Post 100, The Joker

On the way home from work the other day i saw some guy at a road crossing with an intense permanent smile on his face. He walked passed me with no signs that he could shake the smile, maybe due to the fact that he was shaking or that he was malnourished. Whatever the cause he looked like Jack Nicholson from Tim Burton's 'Batman' (picture below). Ofcourse he didnt have the white skin, that would be stupid.

Patricks bedtime

You know that Sunday night where Patrick talked to everyone on the phone absolutely smashed, this was the ending.

Street Advice

Patrick and David set out for a walk in St. Kilda looking for a place to eat and drink. Little do they know that a stranger is watching one of them from across the street.

Old Guy: How long have you been growing them there?
Patrick: 7 years bro.
Old Guy : Ive been growing my hair for seven years as well but it hasn’t grown any longer.

Old Guy: When are you going to get rid of them?

Patrick: Im going bald so im trying to keep them for as long as possible.

Old Guy: Your not going bald.

Patrick: Bruv! Check out these receders!!

Old Guy: What you need is a copper pot!

Patrick: A copper pot?!

Old Guy: If you drink from a copper pot you wont go bald.

Patrick: Hey, ill believe anything if it stops me from going bald.

Old Guy: Anyway fellas I gotta go, got a book on order at midnight book.

Patrick: Alright bruv, thanks for the advice

David: ...........

Smoking is cool when your 13

The other night I sat down and watched some television. There wasn’t much except for a documentary on smoking. It was halfway through by the time I started watching but I could still follow it. They interviewed some lady who had had throat cancer and due to the cancer had lost 80% of her throat, leaving her with a hole in her neck for what id imagine is there to help her breath. She was explaining how addictive smoking is and how she tried to stop etc. She seemed to be pretty upset about the whole losing the throat thing, as you would expect so it surprised me when she suddenly brought a lit cigarette and smoked through the whole she had in her neck!! So anyway Patrick and I were drawing on our day off on Tuesday and I remembered the smoking lady. I drew Fraser as the smoking lady, basing the picture off of a photograph that Todd had taken a few months ago. Note that the curl has got out of control, the old man straw hat and the cry baby tattoo.Im such a good friend.

In my eyes the greatest picture Fraser has ever done

There are a few pictures that we have drawn since we've been in Melbourne that have been deemed (by one man) too offensive to post. Ive been holding on to this one for ages, wanting to share it with everyone but i knew i couldnt. Looks like ive finally cracked.

If you knew the subject matter it makes perfect sense.

"The Holiday"

This weekend Todd and Fraser are off down Great Ocean Road. Patrick and I werent invited, reason being it wouldnt be deemed "a holiday". I think we all know who thought up that brilliant excuse.

Blue Bird

Fraser has been busy at work.

Stallone

I had my 3rd run in with a boxer the other day, the first two being sitting a couple of rows back from Shane Cameron on the plane to Auckland (he could totally kick Tua's ass) and the second being watching Rocky Balboa on the flight to Melbourne ( a bit slow at the start but Sly did alright with it). This third one is to do with my job. I processed a boxers health insurance claim. Due to security I cant actually say his name but if you’re the least bit schooled in boxing you’ll know who im talking about when I say that he is ‘the men’. And for all you doubters out there. I checked and it is him.

Talking of Sly, if you haven’t seen the footage of the new Rambo movie on youtube, watch it, looks great. He cuts a dudes head off, since when did he start doing that? He also uses a big machine gun, just like always.