Christmas

Merry Christmas friends, family and Fraser Burrow. I hope no harm has befallen you. Fraser Burrow

Andrew WK

Yesterday Patrick and I went to see Andrew WK perform at some bar. I was really drunk having come from a Christmas party were drinks were handed out to you as you walked through the door. As you can imagine, with that kind of service and 6 hour between arriving and leaving, I was a bit messy. The gig was fun and at one point invited people onto the stage to boogie with him, of which i have a video but its too big for Youtube to host. We jumped up there for a little bit too.

Clutch for December

On Thursday Simon, Patrick and I went to see Clutch at the HiFi bar. It was the second time for Patrick and myself so we knew what to expect but for Simon, it was a whole new thing. Im pretty sure he had a blast. There were alot more people there this time so we were stuck at back just behind the sound desk. We got the best sound but a sucky view.

The Naked Professor

Patrick's dad Brendan has been over for the last couple of days, buying us meals, having a drink and telling tales. Hes been very generous towards us, in fact we probably haven't eaten this well since we've been here. Now if only he would bake me something, then he would be my hero forever. Thank You

Portable Gaming

I was walking to the gym the other day and noticed a couple of people rumaging through a big rubbish bag full of clothes and other assorted crap. They didnt really bother me at the time as im use to that kind of shit happening in St. Kilda so i quickly forgot about it. I left the gym a while later and started to make my way home. There was a old large building to my right that had a couple of steps leading to the front door. Sitting on those steps was one of the guys from earlier with the rubbish bag. He was cackling away then all of a sudden through a gameboy at me.

Free Internet

Fraser Burrow is sitting beside me on the couch popping bubble wrap, Simon is sitting on a chair having a beer with his top off and Todd is watching a dirty video on his computer. Where is Patrick to stop this madness?

Laughing

I like a good laugh from time to time, but when someones laugh doesnt sound real it bothers me. There a lady at work whose laugh im not happy with. Im still undecided whether she actually means the laugh or not, either way the sound of the laugh doesnt sound real. She was on the phone the other day to someone and they must of had a story to tell. She was doing her laughing thing all the while I was fuming. Its like when your in a lecture theatre and the person behind you is breathing through there nose and it whistles (which did happen to me and I voiced my concern to the person beside me). That shit drives me crazy.

Im never going to tell this lady a joke ever.

Birds

Quite possibly the worst video ever made, but thats what makes it so good.



Im so computer savvy.

Warning labels are there for a reason

The warnings for the local prostitutes to follow whilst doing business. Pretty self explanatory. Click on the image to enlarge it.

When i went up the street to take the picture i looked down in the gutter and noticed a whole bunch of unused needles lying there, still in there packets.

Sexpo and the Brothers Malone

Yesterday Fraser and I went to the Sexpo at the Melbourne Exhibition Centre. It was quite pricey at $25 for a day pass but i think we got our moneys worth. When we entered we were greeted by a couple of lovely ladies wearing skimpy police and nurse uniforms, handing us the program and a couple of flyer's. The exhibition itself was designed to sell dildos and that's it, with a couple of other stalls selling stuff like soaps and t shirts etc, one guy even trying his luck at selling floor tiles. There was a amusement ride called "The Gerbil" that was a modified carnival ghost train, the worst $4 ive ever spent. They had some mannequin peeing on another and some dude standing behind a wall, ready to jump out and scare you when you went past. It was shit. Whilst lining up for the gerbil i spotted one of those carnival games where you put the balls down the mouth of the terrifying rotating heads, only this time they werent exactly heads. It was the Brothers Malone (sort of, maybe a sister Malone), Fraser and Mikes famous guess who creations. Here they are in there full glory.

Below is Mikes drawing of the Brothers Malone.

Flies

Everytime i walk home from work i get attacked by flies. They follow me home as soon as i step outside. At first i thought that it was my black shirt that was drawing them in, but i also wear a white shirt and they still attack. It always looks like they attack me more than they attack any one else. However the odd thing about it is they always land on my left shoulder. Whats wrong with my right shoulder, its just as good if not better. Why cant it be a pack of dogs or something that follow me, that would be cool.

Doesnt need a title.

Ray

Here he is, the infamous Ray Gun, causing havoc where ever he roams. Hes an asshole but hes alright.

Post 100, The Joker

On the way home from work the other day i saw some guy at a road crossing with an intense permanent smile on his face. He walked passed me with no signs that he could shake the smile, maybe due to the fact that he was shaking or that he was malnourished. Whatever the cause he looked like Jack Nicholson from Tim Burton's 'Batman' (picture below). Ofcourse he didnt have the white skin, that would be stupid.

Patricks bedtime

You know that Sunday night where Patrick talked to everyone on the phone absolutely smashed, this was the ending.

Street Advice

Patrick and David set out for a walk in St. Kilda looking for a place to eat and drink. Little do they know that a stranger is watching one of them from across the street.

Old Guy: How long have you been growing them there?
Patrick: 7 years bro.
Old Guy : Ive been growing my hair for seven years as well but it hasn’t grown any longer.

Old Guy: When are you going to get rid of them?

Patrick: Im going bald so im trying to keep them for as long as possible.

Old Guy: Your not going bald.

Patrick: Bruv! Check out these receders!!

Old Guy: What you need is a copper pot!

Patrick: A copper pot?!

Old Guy: If you drink from a copper pot you wont go bald.

Patrick: Hey, ill believe anything if it stops me from going bald.

Old Guy: Anyway fellas I gotta go, got a book on order at midnight book.

Patrick: Alright bruv, thanks for the advice

David: ...........

Smoking is cool when your 13

The other night I sat down and watched some television. There wasn’t much except for a documentary on smoking. It was halfway through by the time I started watching but I could still follow it. They interviewed some lady who had had throat cancer and due to the cancer had lost 80% of her throat, leaving her with a hole in her neck for what id imagine is there to help her breath. She was explaining how addictive smoking is and how she tried to stop etc. She seemed to be pretty upset about the whole losing the throat thing, as you would expect so it surprised me when she suddenly brought a lit cigarette and smoked through the whole she had in her neck!! So anyway Patrick and I were drawing on our day off on Tuesday and I remembered the smoking lady. I drew Fraser as the smoking lady, basing the picture off of a photograph that Todd had taken a few months ago. Note that the curl has got out of control, the old man straw hat and the cry baby tattoo.Im such a good friend.

In my eyes the greatest picture Fraser has ever done

There are a few pictures that we have drawn since we've been in Melbourne that have been deemed (by one man) too offensive to post. Ive been holding on to this one for ages, wanting to share it with everyone but i knew i couldnt. Looks like ive finally cracked.

If you knew the subject matter it makes perfect sense.

"The Holiday"

This weekend Todd and Fraser are off down Great Ocean Road. Patrick and I werent invited, reason being it wouldnt be deemed "a holiday". I think we all know who thought up that brilliant excuse.

Blue Bird

Fraser has been busy at work.

Stallone

I had my 3rd run in with a boxer the other day, the first two being sitting a couple of rows back from Shane Cameron on the plane to Auckland (he could totally kick Tua's ass) and the second being watching Rocky Balboa on the flight to Melbourne ( a bit slow at the start but Sly did alright with it). This third one is to do with my job. I processed a boxers health insurance claim. Due to security I cant actually say his name but if you’re the least bit schooled in boxing you’ll know who im talking about when I say that he is ‘the men’. And for all you doubters out there. I checked and it is him.

Talking of Sly, if you haven’t seen the footage of the new Rambo movie on youtube, watch it, looks great. He cuts a dudes head off, since when did he start doing that? He also uses a big machine gun, just like always.

I love her

There is a girl at Frasers work that he sits beside and has his eye on. She has a couple of standout features. Fraser drew them at work together. She didnt turn out as well as hoped.

I had a go at it too, working off Frasers description.

I eat heaps of apples but I still had to go

For the majority of the week ive had a sore ear. Nothing too painful just annoying. On Thursday i'd had enough and called the doctors office to get an appointment. It got sorted and an appointment was set for later on in the day. I left work and walked to the tram stop. Whilst walking there i noticed from the opposite direction some other person walking to the same tram stop. He was worse than trash, he was garbage. Big black hoodie with crap logo's all over it, a cap with a beanie on top and then the hood from the hoodie over the top of that, a couple of chains hanging off his side, didnt move his arms when he walked.....the usual shit. However the most striking thing to me was that he was wearing a pair of black shorts over the top of his blue jeans. Whats up with that?

Got to the doctors. There was no one in the waiting room but me, i dont think thats ever happened to me before. The doctor told me i had an inflammed ear pipe or something. His advice was to pop my ears 4 times a day. That was not worth $52. Whilst in the waiting room i did notice something. The kids toys are always worn down and broken and they always have one of those bead toys, sorta like the one pictured above. Does anyone see the hidden message in this one?

RUNNING SHOCKS FRASER

Just a little clipping Fraser found in the newspaper a few weeks ago. He cut it out and gave it to me especially. What happens next ill never know.

Saturday Night Sketch

We did some drawing on Saturday, we being Patrick, Fraser and myself. Todd doesnt draw, or read. After some drinks and whatnot we moved into some deep and always amusing conversation. The topic of conversation at the time somehow drifted over to Todd owning a BMX bike and cruising around Melbourne. He described his adventures, doing tricks and carving up the pavement. We didnt buy into it. The drawing pad got passed to Fraser and he drew what we were all thinking. Can anyone pick the 'Easter Egg' from a previous post?

We then shifted to the topic of call centres. Fraser told the tale of ringing Australian school kids and them answering "Who's Thiiiiiisssss!?" Again, Fraser drew it.

Patrick recalled all the times hes had to ring Australian deadbeats. The responses he gets are a little bit different. He drew it.
Sadly my little comic I drew for Fraser isnt allowed to be posted. Whilst Fraser was all for it, Patrick deemed it unacceptable. Something about a PG rating and mums :)

Gladiators

Gladiators is back in Australia! On Saturday at Albert Park, Channel 7 were encouraging fit and roided locals to try out in becoming part of the new breed of Gladiators. One can only hope that the great "Wolf" from the British series back in the old days comes flying down to take part. He was one scary dude and easily 20 yrs older than his next fellow Gladiator. Hopefully they produce the show here in Melbourne. That game where contestants had to shoot an assortment weapons at a target whilst a Gladiator was shooting tennis balls at them was always a favourite of mine.

Ooooh a side picture.

Patrick and I became public geeks on the weekend went to the Armageddon Pop Culture expo. It was everything you would expect of a convention like this. Smelly fat dudes, anime costumes, wrestlers, comics, animation voice actors, washed up Sci Fi television actors and actresses, Harry Potter film nobodies, video games, card games and Storm Troopers. At first we just had look around, soaking up the atomsphere, having a look at the booths, grabbing a coffee and watching some video games.
We attended a 1 hour Q/A with animation legend Bruce Timm, mastermind behind the Batman animated series and Justice League Unlimited, and his colleague, voice director Andrea Romano. The crowd was full of nerd enthusiasm but it was definitely the best thing we attended. I also got a book signed and waited far too long in lines. I hate lines. Whilst I was in line Patrick got to the see the grand entrance of WWE wrestlers RVD and Sabu. They were nice enough to charge $30 or so for an autograph and photo, as were the many "stars" of SciFi television. Apparently someone went for the hi-five but got shot down by RVD. Unfortunatly or not I forgot to take my camera but we took Todds video camera so there is a little bit of footage.

Todd, please leave my apartment

Patty saw a haggard prostitute that looked like she had black eyes tattooed on her face. Patty couldnt/wouldnt describe anymore than that. By Patrick.
I was walking to the Supermarket and ahead of me to the right some lady was getting out of a taxi. She had a giant pink trundler suitcase and the shortest skirt i have ever seen. I only saw the back side of her. Sitting outside the supermarket was the safety vest guys. They missed out.

Make up your own nickname

Entering a room.

Playing Fifa on Xbox

Im lazy and couldnt be bothered putting pen to the pictures. Any excuse to throw those arms in the air.

The French Horn

Last week i saw two little school kids, on two separate occassions, struggling around with a French Horn case. I couldnt believe it, why is it that the smallest 'runt' children always end up playing the instrument when they end up having a god awful time getting round with it. Its insane.

Tales to Astonish

Ive got a couple of stories today, one that happened today and one thats been an ongoing problem for the last couple of months. The first one happened today at work. Every Monday a big box of fruit is brought up into the office for everyone to help themselves to. We also have team meetings on Monday and sometimes people bring a bit of fruit in to eat whilst taking part in the meeting, a bit noisy when you have something crunchy but whatever. Anyway we have this new middle aged guy with a massive head that started last week and he brought in an apple to the meeting. Every now and then id glance over and check up on his eating progress. When he got to the core i thought, he'll probably put that on the table or in the bin, but to my horror he put it in his mouth and ate it. Im pretty sure that stalk thing at the top of apples was still on it too! He ate it like if he was eating a lollie. Still dont know what to think of him after he dressed like a 14yr old skateboarder on casual Friday last week.

The other story is a bit disgusting but has plague me in every job ive had here in Melbourne. Every time i go to the bathroom i enter the cubicle and someone left something behind. I dont know if its just my rotten luck or someone is doing it deliberately to me. I had a good week last week and think i only stumbled onto it once but today, first time going into the bathroom at around 9.30 and there it is, someones mess. Its shit.

Airwolf

On Saturday Fraser Patrick and myself went to JB HiFi, a music/dvd store. Fraser and I were browsing through the new release DVD section and spotted this show 'Airwolf'. We had never heard of it before but were struck by the uncanny resemblance of one of the shows main characters to Fraser boss, the dude on the right. Fraser also stated that the guy at the bottom of the image looked too haggard to be an actor and should have retired years ago.

Pineapple

When Fraser was a wee lad he knew this punk rock junkie called Pineapple. He was somehow connected to Frasers mum, i cant remember how ( i was told but now forget). He was a tattoo artist and had a big ginger mohawk. He drew a picture for Fraser of a dog standing on flaming skulls. This was deemed too awful a graphic for Fraser to have on his wall and therefore wasnt allowed it until he was much older (21).

Dr Strange

Fraser has a uncle called Dennis. He is a mystic.

(Edit) Again the stupid picture wont enlarge. The word balloon says: "Im Uncle Dennis. When Fraser was young I gave him a snake picture book for Xmas - he loved it. Im also a Mystic."

Reflecticve gear

ok , Todd did that blog a couple of days ago about the bums that hang around our neighbourhood. Ive got a story about one of the them. Ofcourse like any other story i tell, the actual subject is obscure, doesnt really make sense at first, but later on it does.

Theres this one bum that hangs around outside the supermarket down the road. He always there in the morning when i go to work. I noticed that he was wearing one of those reflective safety jackets/vests that road workers/people working in dangerous areas wear. Now this guy is no construction worker so why is he wearing it. The next day i take a closer look and it turns out hes wearing two layers of reflective safety gear. Why? He doesnt need one so why does he need two. And why would he choose to buy that as a type of clothing in the first place. If your living on the streets you want something warmer. Their all fuckin stupid.

Trash father and friend

I was on the tram Friday. It was pretty busy so i had to stand and hold onto the railings near one of the doors. At one of the stops in the city this father pushing a pram with a young girl inside climbed onboard, supported by one of his mates. They parked themselves right next to the door, fairly close to where i was standing. I knew these two guys were trash Australians so i look down at the kid to see how she was fairing. She was a mess. Poor girl looked like she hadnt been cleaned in months. She had a pink 'my little pony' tracksuit on that had gone brown with filth, as had her shoes. Filth on her face, hands and the doll she was carrying, which was a cabbage patch doll that didnt have any clothes. Later on in the trip the tram door got stuck and wouldnt open when the tram pulled up to a stop. The father mate had a great idea that if he kicked it, it would open. So he did and it opened, but the whole time after he kept shouting that he had a magic foot. Im sick of this shit.

Korn

I found this picture whilst i was eating breakfast on Saturday. It was in this shitty music mag thats released every week. I couldnt help but rip out the picture and draw on it.

Where's Wally

Hes all about this.

Shit films and Blog Criticisms

Over the last week Todd has been trying to convince Patrick to watch Disneys 'High School Musical'. He claims that its good. I beg to differ.

Oneday there was a Todd, a Fraser, a Patrick and a Dave. They were sitting in a room, just hanging out. From out of nowhere my blog was criticised by a Todd.

Farewell

The story i said i would do a couple of weeks ago is finished sort of. I got lazy and didnt finish it until yesterday. There was one last page but gave up on it.

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Friday Night Fights

The usual situation.