Go!

Phew, its been a while. Heres a sweet little video from Melbourne Cup night. Sorry its taken so long, i havent had access to fast enough internet that would allow me to put a video on Youtube. Work is kind to me. Enjoy!

Politics!

A celebrity post by Mike. He wasnt happy last weekend.

Simon Anselmo

Its not Lex Luthor

Im not much of a politics man but this can only be a good thing.

We can rebuild him

Todd got through his operation fine which is great, lets all hope for a speedy recovery. Go Todd 100k!!

Frazetta!

After drawing that crude picture of Simon as a Conan type warrior i decided to give it another crack but as a homage to one of the greats. Everyone recognises the work of Frank Frazetta, the great fantasy artist with many heavy metal album covers to his credit. Ripped muscles and large breast are a must. Heres an example of his work.

And heres my attempt.
The warrior guy was originally going to be Simon but i changed my mind half way through the picture and it became just a generic ugly brute.

Geek

Saturday was the geek convention and at the same time there was a motorbike convention. People dressed in leathers and people dressed as storm troopers. It was just as lame as last year but this year they had Jim Lee and Ernie Hudson so it was off to a better start. Jim Lee was doing sketches but the line was massive so i didn't wait around for one. I got a book signed, went to a Q/A session with him then bailed. I saw some wrestling too, Sandman had Metallica's 'Enter Sandman' as his entrance music, booo!

Wrestling!! Check out the dudes t shirt and haircut. I haven't seen one of them in a long time.

ECW wrestler "The Sandman"

The card gamers!

The goddamn Jim Lee drawing a sketch of BATMAN.

The goddamn signature.

Deepthroat, ack ack ack!!

This guy on the train kept sticking his fingers down his throat. He must of had something lodged down there pretty good because he was really sticking them in there. I had to stop reading and just look out the window.

And then there is the other half of the picture which doesn't really make sense but apparently Simon can lift 105kg's with his legs.

Fury of the Storm

Ive been to some gig's lately, Dragonforce being the most recent one (Saturday!) It was great and can simply be described as one humongous guitar solo. Incredible. It also has a slutty nurse throwing beer into the crowd, boobs and the band drinking hard liquor on stage throughout their set. Unfortunately i have no pictures but below are some pictures from DOWN. It didn't have boobs but it did have Phil Anselmo.

The Beach

This is the kind of stuff you miss out on when you don't go to the beach.

PDF's

Haha, im at an Internet cafe right now and the computer i jumped on had obviously just been used as some of the browser windows hadnt been closed. Being curious i had a look to see what the person before me was looking at. Turns out they had just purchased a bunch of PDFs on how to 'train your girlfriend' and downloaded them onto the computer. They had left them on the desktop so naturally i dragged them onto my ipod so i could check them out later. It even comes with an audio file! Its like a goldmine of information for free.

So if any of you guys need information on how to train your girl to be your bitch, just hit me up, i can help.

By the way, whats with people not leaving comments?

Post 200!!!

It celebration time, Ive hit 200 blog posts in around 18 months. I have no idea if that's a good strike rate or not, but I'm impressed. Here's a little picture to help celebrate this astonishing moment.

Front Row L - R:

Blair, Pineapple, Todd, David, Ernest the St. Kilda Druggie, KFC Whaleman, Fil Basik.

Second Row L - R:
Fraser Burrow, Clint Frost Burrow, Tui, Colossus, Fraser's Mystic Uncle, Derek

Back Row L - R:
Patrick, Pink Pants, Meathead, Simon, Resin Tooth

Not in Attendance:

HEAPS!

The SF Gallery of Myths and Magic and Lord of the Rings

Bishops Finger

How could i say no to buying a beer called Bishops Finger? Tasted alright too and was brewed by Englands older brewery. It made me super sleepy.

The Phantom Shitter and more.

You may remember a while back the stories of my struggles with the phantom shitter. I'm sure we all know how they went down, therefore theres no need for a recap but there is a need for an update. Since Ive moved floors and now use a new bathroom my causes of concern have all but gone away. I now rest easy. And rightly so due to all the fucking incredible warning labels blue tacked, pasted and pinned up all the over the cubicle walls. First time i saw them i thought to myself how bad were these guys before to justify having warnings posted like please don't wipe your boogers on the cubicle doors or be courteous and don't piss all over the seats, people need to sit there, accompanied by a sun with sunglasses that's there to reinforce the point and make things happy? I was truly worried what i had moved down into. However these warnings seem to have done the trick and i can confidently report that the phantom shitter has not left his stain thus far.

Now onto my theories on who the phantom shitter is, i believe it was one of the managers that for some reason reminded me of a shark yet didn't really look like one. In my mind i called him Sharky? He pissed at the urinal with his legs tightly together rather than a comfortable shoulder width apart. It always bothered me. He must be guilty.


REALLY FUCKED UP MATERIAL BELOW.
You have been warned.

Going off topic for a bit, there was once another person that i use to refer to as Sharky. He was one of the retards (handicapped for you PC people) that use to go to Moana Pool at the same time as my school class every Friday afternoon when i was 9 and 10. This guy really did look like a shark and he use to always walk on his tippy toes, something i wouldn't advise considering the surface area of tippy toes and a slippery poolside floor. And yet i never saw him slip, remarkable. There was another guy who was always at the pool at the same time as our class. It was this old dude who always wore a pair of blue speedos and you know what was always in those speedos, an erection. This dude would just stroll past our swim training pointing straight ahead. I assume he was going to get his clothes from one of those shelf/box things but whose to know his real agenda. Thinking about it now, its so fucked up but i was 9 and oblivious to these kinds of things. And where were the lifeguards when this was going on. He must have been in cahoots with that angry old bastard of a lifeguard and was allowed to get his fucking rise out of us kids. I sure hope i wasn't his material.

True stories by David
Friday 10th October, sitting outside in the sun having a Cascade beer.

Animorphs, not just a series of books but real life!

There's an idea floating around that people like to bring up from time to time that animal owners look like their pets, or their pets look like their owners. Well how about people that just look like animals in general. We all know that Patrick looks like a sheep dog, at times Blair can look like a Monkey, Simon looks like a Jew or you might find yourself living next door to a squirrel (you know what i mean Dad), so it can happen. Coming home from work on the tram Monday afternoon there was a lady sitting across from me that looked like a bird. It wasn't one of those time when you had to really think about what they remind you of it was just an instant BAM 'shes a bird'. I dunno, she probably has a canary at home or something.

The Supermarket Jokes

Todd's 'Move'.

The rest of Planet Earth's 'Move'.

Blair and the wall of Blair's.

I have family in Star Wars

A young miner on the backwater world of Tyne's Horky, Jann Tosh had an idealistic streak that often got him into trouble. His more pragmatic uncle, Gundy, would frequently chastise Jann for his charity, urging him to concentrate on making their mining camp a success and not to spend their precious keschels too easily.

One day, on an errand to purchase a work droid, Jann witnessed a cruel owner battering his droids. He purchased them from the brute, returning to the mine with three marginally useful automatons -- C-3PO, R2-D2 and a strange unnamed android. Upon closer examination, it wasn't an android at all, but rather a Tammuz-an native in disguise. Beneath the mechanical coverings was a towering alien, who didn't say much.

Gundy was incensed at now having another "mouth to feed," but ate those words when the alien saved his life after a mine tunnel collapse. Gundy named the alien Kez-Iban, a Bocce word meaning "he who returns from death." In truth, Kez-Iban was the lost prince of Tammuz-an, Mon Julpa. Julpa had his memory erased by an evil vizier, Zatec-Cha, and was sent away to Tyne's Horky. A sizable bounty had been placed on his head, one that the evil gangster Kleb Zellock intended to cash in on.

Zellock captured Julpa, Jann and the droids, and imprisoned them in his nergon 14 mine. Nergon 14 is an extremely volatile mineral used in Imperial proton torpedoes. Jann was able to escape the mines before an explosive reaction destroyed it.

While Jann was freeing Mon Julpa, Uncle Gundy had discovered a vein of keschel ore in their mine camp. They were rich. Not needing to stay on Tyne's Horky, Jann agreed to take Mon Julpa back to Tammuz-an, were he could reclaim his throne. For his efforts in helping thwart Zatec-Cha, Jann Tosh was named captain in the Tammuz-an space navy.

One of his first challenges in this new position was dealing with Gir Kybo Ren-Cha, a notorious pirate based out of the nearby water planet of Tarnoonga. Jann and Jessica were captured by Kybo Ren and taken to his island stronghold. There, Jann was forced to walk the plank and face a deadly miridon sea monster, but with Artoo's help, he was able to escape. Now loose in Kybo's fortress, Jann freed Jessica. The droids were able to scuttle Kybo's plans to attack Tammuz-an with his captured Star Destroyer, the Demolisher.

After his stint of serving as Mon Julpa's advisor, Jann left Tammuz-an to join the Imperial Space Academy. Jann Tosh was about twenty years old when he met Threepio and Artoo. He is a fair-skinned human male, with brown hair and blue eyes. Tosh dressed in a brown vest, with a loose white undershirt. He had a red headband.

Centre of the Universe at Sydney Airport

When i got to Sydney Airport on the Monday night i was pretty tired from two plane trips and around 4 hours just waiting around in airports. As soon as us passengers got off the plane we were informed that they were filming Border Security and we may be on camera. That didn't really bother me either way and i carried on. I got through the customs fine and picked up my bags from the baggage claim area and moved towards the inspection machines you go to before getting let free. There were two lines you could go down to get your bags inspected and i was told to go to the one on the right. The directions weren't that clear and as usual i wasn't really listening that attentively so i started wandering round. In my wandering i manged to bypass all inspection stations and made my way to the general airport area. I thought to myself 'what the fuck, did i just get through undetected, whatever'. Then just as i thought i had gotten away with it i get inspected for bomb dust. Later on i realize that their actually playing Border Security on the airport TVs whilst I'm there.

After checking my bags in for my flight to Melbourne i decided it was time to eat, and i was starving. The food court was a shambles, full to fast food shit and grease. Subway was my pick of the poison and i sat down to eat. Now the week before, back in Dunedin, Todd, Fraser and I had spent the afternoon scouring Dunedin for a remote controlled Helicopter for Fraser. He planned to delivering messages between the two houses the employees on his resort island lived in. We were out of luck and Fraser bought a watch instead. So I'm chomping away on my Subway and decide to look around, just to check out the people sitting close by. Beside me is some good looking young lady - maybe a trollop, on the other side of me is some person - i can only see their back, in front of me sits three men eating McDonald's with four humongous remote controlled helicopters in giant plastic bags. What........

I finally arrive in Melbourne and get to Southern Cross station at around 11.00pm which is for me around 2.00am. I said fuck that to the train and decided to get a taxi home, even though it would cost me a bit, id had enough. Jumped in a cab and started heading home, giving directions cos the taxi driver had never even heard of the suburb i live in, im shaking me head in disgust. We pulled up at the lights and this Mercedes pulls up beside us, windows down and music blasting. I had a look into the car and the dude looked just like Jamie Durie, that stripper turned gardener guy from Australian television, maybe its him? And hes listening to Boyz II Men really really loud, oh my god, my brain is actually melting.

I was glad to be home.

Party on the steps

Fraser left the Gray-yard for home the other night after watching DVDs and drinking fizz. He had got to the random garage and to the steps that are sorta behind it. He discovered there were 3 crude dudes, 2 in their late teens/early 20's and the other pushing 50, sitting on the stairs drinking Ranfurly beer. Afraid of getting beaten up he acted nice and started talking to them and had a calming smoke with them. The main guy he talked to was called Steve and he had a beat box. His friend Mike just sat there, he was none to bright and couldn't get in on the conversation. Julian had a hand held transistor radio up to his ear listening to the play by play coverage of the NZ Warriors game. It was his backpack that held the cans of Ranfurly. So much for Sunshine being a place of superior human beings, us norms are there too.

Old Man Fetus

Drawn at some coffee place. That is a knife your looking at.

4 hours at Christchurch airport

Simon's been very much looking forward to seeing the Gray brothers. Hes been dreaming of hosting a party for them in the haunted room at his house. And before he complains, i know he doesn't have a spa but it makes the picture more exciting than the 'don't touch' furniture and antiques in the haunted room.

Todd on camera

Footy

Just some crazy footy fanatic we saw on Friday night. He obviously liked denim cos he was wearing a lot of it. He was quite drunk and caused a scene when a goal was scored, knocking over his chair and spilling his beer. Phil wasn't all too happy.

Stranded at the beach

Simon and I saw that KFC guy from a couple of posts back again, this time he was lying over three train seats like a beached whale. No one sat near him and no one was dowsing him in water to keep him wet. I was waiting for the tide to come and wash him away forever.

Eating meatloaf is great for your insides

Mike is back with another celebrity posting, this time its Mike havin' a drink someplace he aint too happy with.
That Mike, so wacky!

KFC leftovers

We were on the train coming home from somewhere, i can remember where. We sat down in one of the 6 seat booths and were shocked to discover the remains of someones KFC dinner smooshed all over one of the seats, yuk! We decided it had to be the fat dude sitting behind us as he had a smug satisfied look on his face and he was wearing a woolen jersey with nothing on underneath. You just dont do that.

True story at the supermarket.

Blair went to the supermarket the other day to pick up some lunch meat (dont know what kind, it doesnt matter). So he was waiting at the deli when some lady approached him. She said to him "you know, you kinda look like someone" to which Blair replied "i get that a lot". She continued "yeh but someone famous, i cant think of his name, its that olympian". Knowing full well where this was going Blair answered "Grant Hackett?" The lady jumped up with excitment "Yes! thats the one, you look like that Grant Hackett guy". Blair left the supermarket quickly and came home to tell me the story. I laughed in his face.

Climbing Mt. Philip

So big.

FB Theatre presents A 3 act period piece

FB is finally back!! Some of the pictures are hard to read but you know the drill, click on them and they should enlarge.

ACT I

ACT II

ACT III

Blair goes for gold and fails.

With Blair's much hyped race in the 1500m freestyle over we can now reflect on the failure that was the silver medal. A Loser. After the event Blair was nice enough to sign a swimming poster i had stolen from work that happened to have his face on it. As NZ newspapers like to use far too often as part of headlines or first paragraphs i was 'stoked' at such a generous gift. I cant tell you how much inspiration it is every time i walk into the room and see those three special words staring me in the face.

Heres the poster that now decorates our lounge wall. Simon hates it but i love it.

Lookalikes again

Time for another installment of lookalikes. This time its Blair and we will use the greatest picture ever taken of him.

Blair from the future where late teenagers rule the world.

Blair hates this comparison but every time we go to the supermarket and we go down the cereal isle i always point it out to him. Hes a gold medal superstar.