Centre of the Universe at Sydney Airport

When i got to Sydney Airport on the Monday night i was pretty tired from two plane trips and around 4 hours just waiting around in airports. As soon as us passengers got off the plane we were informed that they were filming Border Security and we may be on camera. That didn't really bother me either way and i carried on. I got through the customs fine and picked up my bags from the baggage claim area and moved towards the inspection machines you go to before getting let free. There were two lines you could go down to get your bags inspected and i was told to go to the one on the right. The directions weren't that clear and as usual i wasn't really listening that attentively so i started wandering round. In my wandering i manged to bypass all inspection stations and made my way to the general airport area. I thought to myself 'what the fuck, did i just get through undetected, whatever'. Then just as i thought i had gotten away with it i get inspected for bomb dust. Later on i realize that their actually playing Border Security on the airport TVs whilst I'm there.

After checking my bags in for my flight to Melbourne i decided it was time to eat, and i was starving. The food court was a shambles, full to fast food shit and grease. Subway was my pick of the poison and i sat down to eat. Now the week before, back in Dunedin, Todd, Fraser and I had spent the afternoon scouring Dunedin for a remote controlled Helicopter for Fraser. He planned to delivering messages between the two houses the employees on his resort island lived in. We were out of luck and Fraser bought a watch instead. So I'm chomping away on my Subway and decide to look around, just to check out the people sitting close by. Beside me is some good looking young lady - maybe a trollop, on the other side of me is some person - i can only see their back, in front of me sits three men eating McDonald's with four humongous remote controlled helicopters in giant plastic bags. What........

I finally arrive in Melbourne and get to Southern Cross station at around 11.00pm which is for me around 2.00am. I said fuck that to the train and decided to get a taxi home, even though it would cost me a bit, id had enough. Jumped in a cab and started heading home, giving directions cos the taxi driver had never even heard of the suburb i live in, im shaking me head in disgust. We pulled up at the lights and this Mercedes pulls up beside us, windows down and music blasting. I had a look into the car and the dude looked just like Jamie Durie, that stripper turned gardener guy from Australian television, maybe its him? And hes listening to Boyz II Men really really loud, oh my god, my brain is actually melting.

I was glad to be home.